Thursday, June 24, 2010

Face To Face with Lance.

I can't quantify how much I hate Lance Armstrong right now. He taunts me at every corner. I see images of him everywhere I go now, and I've started seeing yellow livestrong bracelets everywhere including on my oncologists. And maybe just because its summer more people are wearing a lot of bright yellow. Only select people can pull off bold color blocking of yellow. Yellow is not a great color on a lot of people, especially on cancer patients. I blame Lance for that. Lance Armstrong and I are enemies. He doesn't know it yet but I am sure he would be afraid.

It has now been four weeks since my surgery and four weeks of waiting. Have I said I'm impatient? I'm an impatient patient. I have survived a month long torture session and now face my demon. No I don't get face Lance yet, just images of him taunting me waiting rooms.

I had to wait four weeks for a second set of CT Scans to see if the cancer had spread. After drinking copious amounts of berry flavored barium solution and being injected with another contrast dye, I have to say it was better the first time when I was high off the post surgery meds. Being fully conscious to understand how bad barium is just cruel.

So today the results are in. Cancer has spread to my abdomen. Yes it is slow growing. I am in a way relieved. Now that I know, I can plan. After weighing the pros of cons of different treatment options, in concurrence with Jonny, I will undergo Chemo therapy.This was a difficult decision to make and one that will be more difficult to endure but will have the most favorable long term outcome.

To help with my planning of the next few months I met with a cancer social worker today. She was wearing yellow. It wasn't her color either. She decided to tell me a little bit about her problems, to which my inner monologue said "Um I don't really care about your problems Miss Over-share 2010; I have cancer dummy." Okay so if you know me well enough you know that was the PG version. I think that she should find a new profession I don't find her comforting or helpful.

So now I start planning. I plan to buy a lot of hats. I will be wearing a fedora at the upcoming nuptials of my brother. I plan on getting a tan. I plan on telling Lance that yellow is not really a good color for cancer.

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